Many of the problems facing this great nation today stem from the lack of responsible fathers in the lives of children. The Progressive Left, in its seemingly inexorable drive to ruin America, has passed laws that make it easier for irresponsible males to be absent from their families. Some welfare laws actually punish moms and dads for staying together. A growing number of children are being born into single parent families. Children raised in a single parent family, especially those in poverty, are significantly more likely to grow up dependent. Progressives understand the road to socialism will be lined with people who are pathetically dependent on government for their daily needs. All of this is happening at a time when the word masculine carries a growingly negative connotation. Children need responsible males in their lives perhaps more today than ever. The most important thing our kids need to grow up strong, independent, and successful, is the love of their parent(s).
This is the 22nd Father’s Day since my dad passed away. Thanks to my brother Harold, we enjoyed the 20th annual Wolf Family Scholarship Golf Outing yesterday. We were able to share this special day with over 100 people. Many of them were fathers with their sons. In my case, I was with my grandson. The day was, as you can imagine, bittersweet. We enjoyed the camaraderie of friends and family, while missing the presence of our dad.
To the world, my dad was quite unremarkable. Because he didn’t enjoy school he struggled to graduate. He became a father (to me) when he was 18 years old. At the age of 20, still a kid himself, he was the father of 3. He and mom would go on to raise 4 successful adults. I won’t bore you with the difficulties they faced raising 4 children. Suffice to say the difficulties, especially financial, were immense. While dad may not have been remarkable to the world, he was remarkable to us. It was remarkable that he and mom celebrated their 50th anniversary months before he died.
Dad and mom’s struggles are not the point of this blog. The point is that a man doesn’t have to be wealthy, or famous, or possess special skills, to be a good father. There are a few very simple things a man can do in order to be a good father. The first is probably the most important, and something that every father can do. It costs nothing. That is to love, and be there for, his children. If your child likes playing sports, get involved in coaching. Head coach, assistant coach, bench coach, snacks coordinator, are all positions that show your child you are interested in their interests. Not everyone is capable of being a coach or teacher. We are all capable of being fans, supporters, mentors, and role models. Show an interest in what your child is interested in. Attend as many of their games as possible. Even if you know the answers, ask your child questions about that days game. By doing so you allow them to be the expert in their response. Be sure to find something they did particularly well, or something they have improved on, and congratulate them for it.
Not every child has an interest in sports. But every child has an interest in something. Find out what they are passionate about, and get involved. If it’s music, challenge them to learn about the most famous people who have played the same instrument they enjoy. If they are artistic be sure to nurture that passion with home projects and visits to art museums. It is amazing the amount of bonding that can happen when dad takes the time to read books with/to his children. Whether dad likes the book or not, turn the reading session into a major production. Act out parts. Be goofy. Make reading time something the kids look forward to. Schedule time specifically for this purpose.
Some careers force dad to be away from home more than he would like. This can be a problem, or it can create a unique opportunity. Children love to receive mail. Write them a letter. Mail it to them from your work destination. Ask your spouse to save the envelope. When you get home you can discuss with them different ways the USPS may have routed the letter to ultimately arrive at their home. Haul out an atlas, paper or electronic, and let them find potential routes. This may be a sneaky way to help your children learn a little geography. It is certainly more interesting than the rote methods taught in school, and it places dad with his kids. Of course there is also the opportunity for zoom calls while you are away. Be sure to use them. The longer you are away the more your children need to hear from you.
Most children look up to their parents. Many parents are heroes, and role models, to their children. Sometimes they are their only heroes and role models. Children need to trust them. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. If you tell your child you’ll do something, do it. The trust you establish with your children in their youth may save their lives when they get older.
I don’t pretend to be an expert on being a dad. The tips I mentioned are things I have learned through experience with my children, and grandchildren. Being a responsible dad is clearly more complicated than that. My suggestions are nothing more than an attempt at establishing a solid foundation. I believe the old saying that all politics is local. Nothing is more local than our families. Many of our problems would be resolved if we create more self reliant, responsible, citizens. Men, let’s use this Father’s Day as a challenge to recommit to being better dads, granddads, and role models. If you know someone in your family is struggling with the challenge of being a dad, discreetly offer a helping hand. There are certainly single moms you know who could use some help. Offer to take her child or children for ice cream. Go outside and play catch, or kick a soccer ball back and forth. Take them to a park, or a ball game. There is a chance that mom is overwhelmed and would really appreciate a break. If all dads make an effort to provide loving support to children, theirs and others, the world can’t help but be a better place. Oh, and keep up the love. I’ve never heard of anyone receiving too much love. Thanks for taking the time to read my prose. If you think it is of value please tell your friends about it. Bob
Amen brother
Charlie,
Thanks for continuing to read my prose. Bob
Amen
Garry,
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my post. I hope things are well with you. You are in my prayers nightly. Bob