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What is happening to us? Is it evolution? If so, is it inevitable that we become a bunch of ungrateful slobs? Unfortunately, every area of our society has become less polite, less courteous, less tolerant, and less patient. Every year technology delivers more time saving devices. Every year we seem to have less time. We talk about how much we love our families and children. Yet we spend less quality time with them. This is a sad commentary. If played out to its logical conclusion this constant march toward selfishness will not end well.

There are a few behaviors that Americans have accepted as right. Since the beginning of our nation these behaviors have been passed down from generation to generation. Somewhere along the line either some of us stopped telling our children, or some of our children stopped listening. There are little common sense expectations that help society remain civil.

Things like, if you say you are going to be somewhere at a certain time, be there. That goes along with: Be honest, and if you say you are going to do something, do it. We used to be able to take these things for granted. We can’t anymore. If you have ever hired someone to do repair work you know how rare it is for them to show up when they say they will. How often are projects completed when promised? We all know that emergencies can arise that cause people to be late. Common courtesy would suggest a phone call to inform us of the late arrival. Too often the call isn’t made. People who show up on time are the exception, not the rule. Being perennially late shows a lack of concern for others. It is getting harder to find people who will do projects the way they promised. We have all been disappointed by people who deliver services that are not what they promised. If you find people who generally deliver what they promise, around the time they promised to deliver it, you’d better pay them well and keep them on speed dial. This disregard for others is a sign of coarsening.

When’s the last time you sent a hand written note to someone you care about? A thank you note, or a birthday or anniversary card sent to a loved one. Remember how good you felt when you received a hand written note from someone you loved? How about a phone call to a relative you haven’t spoken to in a while? These people took the time, and were important to us, when we were growing up. Shouldn’t we revisit them? When’s the last time you called an old school friend? I know, I know. You’re friends on Facebook. That’s not the same, and I think you know it. Notes and phone calls tell them they mean enough for you to take the time to contact them. I understand it takes more time and effort. That is the point. That is what makes it special. Our lack of concern for the “special people” in our lives displays a lack of interest, and signals a kind of coarseness.

Make time for who is important. When you go out to eat with your family turn your phone off until after you have finished eating. Make your family the center of your universe for that period of time. When your children attempt to tell you about something that happened at school, pay attention to them, get engaged in their story. If they tell you they are uncomfortable around someone, your antenna should go up. That should have your undivided attention. Should you discover that your children are being taught something at school that you think is inappropriate, address it with your school administration, and other parents. Make sure to set aside time to catch up with your spouse, or significant other. Your children are important. But the most important thing to kids is the presence of a happy, loving, home. See to it that your parents are safe, comfortable, and happy. Be sure to see them regularly if they are local, or to talk to them regularly if they are not. I have never talked to anyone who had lost a parent who said: I spent too much time with mom, or dad. I have yet to talk to a parent or grandparent who said I wish my kids wouldn’t call, or come over, so often. The most important thing in any successful society is the family. Do everything you can to help yours thrive.

We are living in unique times. Never in any of our lifetimes have we witnessed such a crazy time. We are firing health care workers in the middle of a pandemic. We are firing law enforcement officers in the middle of a crime surge. Businesses are closed and people are refusing to work. The businesses that stay open do so at a lower level of staffing. Because of lower staffing it is not unusual for service to be less than desirable. This is not a time for us to show how important we think we are, but to be grateful for those who have decided to continue to work. When shopping take a minute to thank the proprietor, or manager, for finding a way to keep their businesses open. We should thank employees for their efforts. If you can afford to do so, leave a little extra for the waitstaff when you go out to eat. Make an effort to thank nurses, police officers, fire fighters, and EMTs for risking their lives in order to keep us healthy and safe. Understand that the reasons people choose to get vaccinated, or not, are personal. They have the right to make the decision they believe is right for them. Whether they agree or disagree with you doesn’t make them saints, or sinners. Patience is indeed a virtue. As long as we have a government intent on controlling our lives, and dividing us, we are apt to need patience for some time to come. Lets be sure to be impatient at the government, not the people who are doing their best to get along. Don’t allow the government to further divide us.

Since there is no evidence that the trend toward coarseness is the result of evolution we have the power to reverse the trend. I think we would all agree we have no desire to return to the chivalrous days of the Knights of the Round Table. The days of Knights in shining armor are a thing of the past. But some of the qualities expected from Knights were not bad, nor should they be too much to ask from people living in a civilized society. Who could argue against qualities like, courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a willingness to help the weak? I would add gratitude, politeness, humility, compassion, understanding, and patience. Our country would be a better place if more of us, Knights and Dames alike, were to strive to attain more of the above attributes. We must vow to be better people. It should be our goal to strive to be more honest, more polite, and more grateful for the many blessings we receive daily. We should be awake to the needs of the weak. It is important we be more tolerant. We need to understand that people with differing opinions from our own are not evil. We must have the courage to stand up for things in which we believe. Many Americans already possess many of these virtues. Sadly their numbers are dwindling. We must reverse this trend for the preservation of what is good about the USA and for the sake of our future. It is a matter of will, and awareness.

I hope you enjoyed this blog entry. If you did please tell your friends about it. Thank you, Bob