What happened to what we used to call common courtesy? There was a time when people understood the importance of recognizing the world didn’t exist just for their pleasure. Our parents didn’t expect us to gain kindness through osmosis. They taught us to be courteous. So we can’t blame our parents for our increasing lack of common courtesy. If we, or our children, are selfish, uncaring, slobs it is on us. We are to blame for the coarsening of civil society. What follows is a partial list of things that used to be considered common courtesy.
Most of what follows was once considered basic. Things like: If we say we’ll be there, we should make pains to be there. If we say we’ll be there at 9:00, we should arrive at 8:45. The person, or people, who are expecting us showed up when promised. We were taught that our tardiness shows we don’t really care about others. It is simply discourteous. This is a simple thing that shouldn’t create too much of a burden on the promiser. Too many people today are simply not interested in this simple courtesy.
Spend time with your parents, grandparents, and others you love. As families get spread all over the country this is a little more difficult to do in person. If you live near them be sure to visit, in person, occasionally. Do so for reasons other than you need something from them. Give them quality time, don’t be in a hurry to leave. The time you spend with them will be the highlight of their day, or month. If you live too far away to visit physically, be sure to call, or facetime with them. It isn’t as good as in person gatherings, but will still be greatly appreciated. Oh, and if grandpa tells you the same story for the 15th time, roll with it. Don’t correct or admonish him. He doesn’t know it was the 15th time he told you. Someday, you may wish he was here to tell you that same story for the16th time.
Keep track of birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, and other important dates. Electronic gadgets make that task easier today. All that is necessary is that the owner of the device cares enough to enter the dates. When your phone pings with a reminder, be sure to call the person(s) and wish them well. Do not text them. A text says, I know it is your birthday, (aren’t I special) I just don’t care enough to give you a few minutes of my time. Hearing your voice is more important to the recipient than reading your words. Reaching out to a loved one will be appreciated more than you might know.
Tell the truth. This is so basic. Honesty is getting harder to find. More of us are being led to believe that the ends justify the means. Our political leaders are leading the way in justifying deception. They are comfortable standing in front of a TV camera and saying things they know are not true. Most of us know they are lying. Lies told by adults set a bad example for young people. It seems to lead us to think it is okay to rationalize what we know to be untruths. Being honest may preclude you from being elected to a public office, but it will win you respect from those who know you can be trusted. Don’t spend time with known liars. It can be contagious.
It is still okay to hold the door for others. Don’t let that one snotty response to your kindness be your reason to be unkind. A couple of weeks ago I held the door for a lady entering a restaurant. She sniped, I’m perfectly capable of opening the door for myself. I looked at her, smiled, and said your welcome. She was not impressed. Guess what? The next time the opportunity presented itself I held the door again. Most people appreciate expressions of kindness put forth by strangers. Even more so when expressions of kindness are becoming harder to find.
I will close with one of my favorite displays of courtesy. That is to show respect. We have all heard the saying, respect your elders. We should respect our elders, and those who have sacrificed themselves for the common good. We should always be on the lookout for ways to help others who may be struggling to complete what we would consider a routine task. Things like returning their shopping carts for them, or helping neighbors with yard work. There are a myriad of ways to be helpful, and respectful. We must also be sure to thank people who have sacrificed, or are sacrificing, their safety for ours. We should thank veterans, and active duty members of our armed forces, wherever we see them. It is because of their sacrifices, and those who preceded them, that we continue to enjoy the freedoms that come with living in the greatest nation on earth. We should do the same with our law enforcement officers, and firemen and women. That we are able to do our favorite things in a relatively safe manner is because of them. Take the few seconds necessary to thank them for their service. The appreciation you will see on their faces will make your day better too.
Common courtesy is in short supply in many other areas. I hope this post gives pause to reflect where we might be able to be more kind. There is no such thing as too much kindness.
If you know someone who would benefit from reading this post, share it with them. Thank you for taking the time to read my prose. Bob
Thank you, Bob!… A great reminder!!!
A well needed article Bob, for EVERYONE